i just saw a midget buying condoms and graham crackers. i wonder which was the impluse buy.
I hate bills.
Like ones you have to pay or people named William?
When we were fucking, you could hear the beer sloshing around in my stomach
just saw a guy throwing up in the urinal at Dennys. Either he had one hell of last night or we are going to eat somewhere else
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawn mower thinking of you
im youtubing treadmill accidents. this is what i do at 2:10am
I actually have to watch Breaking Bad to make me feel better about my choices last night.
I just had a flashback to the three of us in the bed and me shouting AM I THE BIGGEST OR LITTLEST SPOON?!
FUCK IM ABOUT TO GET A DICK PIC IN THE LIBRARY
My Easter Basket from my parents consisted of one chocolate bunny and a massive amount of condoms and a single note saying "the pope approves of the use of condoms" love mom and dad
I took a vibrator for a weekend with my parents instead of a boyfriend. I obviously have my life together.
I feel like your boyfriend deserves to know that you're a lesbian.
Yea she is hot. But she also had no toothpaste in her entire apartment.
You set a couch on fire in my brothers backyard?
Just the cushions
The ass gains better be worth it
Randomize
