Just took a closer look at the paper that kid wrote me his number on. It was an ATM receipt. His balance is $17.89. i made the right choice.
well judging by the amount of dired blood around my nipple rings i'm gonna assume it was a good night
I just fell down the stairs in the library and further deviated my septum. That's why I don't study.
Yea, remember to blow out the fire from flaming shots. Unless you want burnt lips. Just saying, I'm an example of ignorance and intoxication.
She found 60 bucks at the strip club. Its probabably been in a vagina but really most money probably has
seriously when did my vagina become a soup kitchen for the poor
You won’t make it to November. A 21st bday and Halloween in the same night has shitshow/ jail written all over it. So I call dibs on that tall guy
You have dresses for different occasions. I need different men's dicks too. It's logic.
The only way to make beer can wizard staffs any better is to sew your own wizards robe and hat to go along with it. welcome to tuesday nights at my new apartment
I spent ten minutes questioning her on what kind of cup she wanted... Then I asked what kind of water she wanted..
WOAH TOO HIGH
Rather than admit to myself I've spent $756 at the bar this month, I'm just going to pretend I gave it to a homeless person...kind of makes me feel better.
This is why we can never be together. Well that and we r married to other ppl but that's very minor detail compared to the coffee issue
I just gave him road head. He came in the Taco Bell drive thru which seems pretty typical for my life.
How is it that 364 days a year I'm the adult, but on Halloween you completely forget how to have fun and become my grandma?
Is 6 weeks really a benchmark now?
Ask me in 6 more weeks, when they're in a bisexual polycule.
Randomize
