Just ran to the store on my way to the office to buy Diet Coke...the guy in front of me let me cut because it was 4 more minutes until 8am, so he wouldn't be able to purchase his vodka. I love Wisconsin
you kept yelling 'bird cage' in between songs and finally the lead singer stopped to ask if you meant 'free bird' and you said 'fuck you, i'm not gay', needless to say you were kindly escorted out
Could guys at least pretend I require some amount of money to be spent before I randomly go down on them?
You thought that the "chillable" logo on the box wine was referring to a city in italy.
The only person who has seen my penis more than that girl, is that girl's sister.
Currently standing on top of my parents leather couch with no pants on playing helicoptor with my penis. You?
There is no excuse for watching a Jesse McCartney movie.
remember last night when you and I took turns yelling THIS IS HUGE in my dogs faces? I love wine night.
It went from "haha, this will be funny" to "full blown anime porn fetish"
I said make yourselves at home, not to put a used condom on my ceiling fan.
He tricked me...the first song on his sex mix was trey songz but the rest were techno....i can't walk straight now
There seems no grander way to celebrate 420 than to smoke atop a mountain peak.
Swear to god you say cuddle bunny one more time and honest to god I will sacrifice a bunny on the hood of your car
well I didn't shave for the hot dilf I banged last week so I'm sure as hell not shaving for you. Sry
I just fixed my mom's tv over the phone in 2.17 minutes while high. I'm a fucking professional.
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