I know i'm drunk when the "men" sign on the bathroom sounds chinese
between no blow jobs for the rest of his life, or no cheese for the rest of his life, he chose no blowjobs. ive never felt so bad about my bj abilities before
you'd be confused too if you woke up to pictures of a ghostbuster doing body shots off you.
i knew she was desperate at the point in which she started showing me her naked pics on her phone
at least franzia made me throw up pretty colors.
I dig being used for consequence free sex. Not consequenceful sex.
Man, jail baloney is awful.
apparently i'm the only person who has heard from her since saturday. she texted me "burt reynolds" at 2am sunday
Some chick just tried to plug her vodka into the wall.
well its a long story but basically i overcame many cockblocks
walk of shame to my ortho appointment. kids are staring. this little girl just asked her mom if she can havr glitter in her hair too.
Also what is the name of Americas thing where we had a holy obligation to expand westward? I'm going name my new lighter that.
I just watched some guy take a shot of jack Daniels, chase it with a shot of ciroc & then violently rip his pants off. You have to come here.
He'll only communicate through snapchat with pictures of him holding his cat or his dick. Bit of Russian roulette opening them in public but I did it anyway.
I guess I asked for the two old strippers numbers at the end of the bar and it turned out to be the bartenders mom and aunt...
Randomize
