used his ipod to set the mood...1st song was livin on a prayr 2nd song was disco stick
i expected more from guys that i meet at the jersey shore.
Remember how we wr so drunk last nite we cldnt find whr i shot my load? ...found some of it.
Redeem this text for a blowjob
I just mistook a monk for someone with the newest colored snuggie.
i just saw a man pushing two thirtys of beers in a stroller while his little kid ran to keep up. father of the year
That's the last time we joust in Radio Flyer wagons after margarita night.
I feel like my chances would have been better if I hadn't told her "I need to fuck you before you leave."
Okay now that I've been wanting to eat these hot cheetos in the bathroom, I know it's time I need to stop smoking and go to sleep.
Hey man, I found your crocs and your visor in the road. Got em for you.
I'm not sure drinking my way through west nile virus is the best idea. Oh well, already committed to that plan.
Are you kidding me????? How bout, IM SORRY FOR CALLING YOU 16 TIMES AND LEAVING YOU A TWO MINUTE VOICEMAIL OF MYSELF THROWING UP.
It's the best! If I had one wish it would be for life to be one really long gay porno. Thats what I wish for during every 11:11.
What's dad's email?
askmom@cause.idk
Was the guy in the cowboy hat kinda hot or have I just not had sex in a really long time?
One of my favorite March activities is cropdusting people while wearing a kilt.
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