We were playing flip cup on the nice dining room table. Losing team had to shamwow the table in between rounds
hot ketchup is not a substitute for marinara
Married on the beach in PCB while blackout drunk. Bonged beers on the sandbar for a bachelor party. They shotgunned beers at the end of the vows. How is spring break allowed to happen?
The beer is more important than you right now.
Well, at least he doesn't refer to you as his associate. his mattress associate
Just found my old bop it. So many drinking game possibilities
Exact words that were just spoken as she was on her 6th, yes 6th piece of bread: "I'm only eating the soft and chewy inside of the bread-I am taking the crust home to feed my turtles"
That's what you get for dating construction workers you meet in tunnels.
Seriously. We gorilla glued our hands together. Eating pizza last night was impossible.
my mom said i came home and fell asleep on the floor. like right in front of her.
He wore pink swim trunks on our date and repeatedly insulted my profession, but his cat kept standing up like a person to nuzzle my face and I felt like a Disney Princess. I hate this dude, but the cat is too amazing for me to not fake interest for.
I woke up this morning and had to retrieve my clothes from the flagpole, they were using my boxers as a makeshift rally flag for drinking. Yeah last night was a success.
my hair smells like a mixture of fireworks and rotten eggs with a hint of shame. it's so strong it's keeping me awake.
We go out and drink, fuck, and I stay the night. He agrees to it because he knows I'll hook him up to IV fluids in the morning. Everyone wins
answer honestly do you think i can make a bloody mary with ketchup????
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