names aren't important. just tell him all you want is a lil make out sesh and keep it moving.
I have no idea where we are. But it doesn't look dirty so I don't think we are in jersey yet
Judging by her face, I'd say she's at least dabbled with meth...
okay, certainly we can't screw this up, and even as I type, I know we will
she was eating donuts out of the garbage. enough said.
They have 12 kegs and 40 bottles of liquor and a pool with a diving board. And hardly anyone at this wedding knows me. Should be a great night
The liquor stores are closed! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! CURSE YOU SANDY!!!!
idk about you, but when i sext i just hit em with the "yo lets bang" text
Welp, I just herniated a vocal cord during sex. How was your night?
I tipped him really well because I feel he knew we were high, but did it in a non judgemental way.
It's shark week go big or go home
Im going to seductively wisper "that butters my biscuit" in your ear
You were dancing to the Bee Gees, at 3am, with a piece of ham on your head. Moral of the story, You can't drink.
His pet bird was perched ON HIS DICK.
and then the sword just ended up between my legs
Randomize
