Kris Allen: Jason Mraz mixed with John Mayer and a splash of orgasmmm
I just sold a pizza for the ability to listen to spice girls.
S and I had anal without a condom because I'm on my rag but he didn't finish. Should I still take Plan B?
My dora the explorer band aid does not cover up the shame i feel right now
Please tell me you're throwing the cats into this foot of snow.
Yeah just got a blowjob at busch stadium during the cardinals game childhood dream realized
Im about to embark on a date with someone who shit in my car. How did this become my life?
Just had my ass outlined on a bar top with permanent marker and then they carved the imprint into the wood with a knife. I'm famous in the country!
ive cried into many a lonely burritos..
Just like to put it out there it's surprising how little reception a dog cage has
i am willing to donate my body to this science experiment when it means free blowjobs
With a breakfast like weed and a fun size twix before a dentist appointment you can see exactly how I handle being an adult
I'm jealous that you can use my boobs as pillows & I can't.
I thought we agreed to no sexting at the school bake sale...
Just seriously saw this chick say, watch this motherfuckers then did a 42 sec keg stand.
You at least asked for her number right?
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