She was kinda tragic... like a puppy that runs into things. Cute but really stupid. So, yeah, I hit it.
I'd like to personally thank you for not letting anyone puke in any of the salad bowls this time
I only keep her as my best friend so she wont hook up with my ex.
In between when I last wrote and now have screwed a Swiss guy on a hostel bathroom floor. Okay, real life?
I just took a dump to end all dumps. Other dumps have already written ballads about it. It was the Armageddon dump. Bruce Willis was there, it was awful.
She is screaming bc she thinks you jumped out the window...please show her you just went out for a smoke
if all that ever happens for the rest of forever is drinking wine and eating popcorn, ill be okay
it was like a shit fog rolling out of the east to encompass me and have it's way with me
Romantically speaking, I want to sit on his face.
Well anyways I still cant believe I don't remember such a monumental day in history as you showing me your boobs... Jesus
So how do I get back in good graces for trying to trade you for superbowl tickets?
Any chance the bar is open now? Also who's wedding is this?
Everyone is all excited about the iPhone 7 being water resistant and I'm only concerned with whether or not it can be destroyed by salsa or cum
On a scale from 1-10 how fucked up would it be to buy weed with my fafsa money?
It's a study aid
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
Randomize