he wanted me to dress up like someone from lord of the rings. I dumped him.
I have to brush my teeth today to feel like I did something.
I think the guy in front of me just puked in a styrofoam cup.
i yelled at him for a little and we ended up fucking in a random tennis court.
Sober me does NOT approve of what went on in my pants last night.
Sexual tension squid is drowning in the sexual tension
Just heard the girl at the bar cuss her bf out and order a long island ice tea. Going to give it 5 min then I'm going in. See you on the other side.
If you quit, you're not going to stick to our game plan of dead by 40. I will not be in the titty bar nursing home without you damning
Damnit.
He may be engaged to someone else, but god damn that was the best 3 hours I've ever spent naked with someone.
I wanna be like, dude, I peed your bed. Like you laid in my pee. And we're not dating. You can find another fuck buddy who I'm sure won't piss on you.
Well, that's not my fault. I make decisions all the time when I'm drunk.
It finally happened. Some guy just tried to catfish me with my own dick pic. Of course I told him that it was the hottest dick I'd ever seen and that I would do anything for that particular dick.
Tequila should only be paired with the finest of dick
I never thought I'd be judging my neighbors sex lives before age 30 but here we are
thanks for letting me have sex in your bed, too bad you didn't get to yet
who are you?
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