Just saw a policeman use his lights to go through a red light only to turn them off and go to Sonic...
Stop being a whore!!! Everyone can see!!!!
Mid thrust he tells me that we have bio together
Best idea ever: Giving hobos a beer and having a chugging contest to win another beer. Most fun I have had downtown in a while.
Printing the vagina inspector badge was money well spent.
So watch family guy till our brains melt and then bang till our bodies hurt?
And your cousins porn shouldn't have been the first straight porn you watched. And for that I am sorry
I like to think it's an accomplishment that I can relate my life to a T-pain song
There was this blissful moment of peace and quiet... then you ran past our window with a lit firecracker in hand going, "SHIT. SHIT. SHIT!"
I'm kinda surprised he wouldn't be honored to take me back as a fuck buddy.
My favorite part of you downing a fifth of fireball in my apartment by yourself is the shot glass in the sink. It's like you attempted moderation and were just like "Fuck this."
It looks like you got dick slapped by the sandman..
Ok, not to minimize the significance of that beautiful anecdote from your childhood, but here's a video of my penis.
If God is analyzing my life right now extremely proud or dissapointed but either way I took wednesday night drinkin to new levels
I hate being on my period . Did you know that by the time I'm 30 I would've wasted 1,176 days of my life I could've had sex but couldn't bc I was on my period.
Randomize
