please say your awake. the girl i brought home last night...any idea on a name? she isnt up yet...
And just as he was about to come, he screamed "Oh Christy!!"
What's wrong with that? Your name IS christy.
He then said, "Oh shit, sorry Julie."
my coke dealer is running a Black Friday special
if we dont hook up this weekend, im doing both his roommates
at one point last night, you were literally auctioning me off. "reeeally drunk hot girl ! we'll start the bidding at an ice cold corona. oh, we have a bidder! do i hear a shot of whiskey? going once, going twice.."
youre welcome
where's my purse there's an important taco in it
of all places to pass out....why right in front of our RA's door? OF ALL PLACES.
I cannot for the life of me remember why I am holding this rabbit.
He legit asked if he could come over for a hug. I feel like I've been booty called by a 12 year old.
it was a frathouse cornucopia of foul mixed drinks and "sangria", which im convinced was blood and pcp
WE COULD TOTALLY DO ECSTASY AND GO TO THAT CAT SHELTER OFF OF BROADWAY.
I told her my hands were paint brushes and her vagina was my canvas
I am coping with the snow storm with beer and shots of jack. If I were outside in shorts I might be able to pass as a Canadian.
He was jealous of me and threatened by me. I'm like, just cause I could fuck your girlfriend doesn't mean I'm going to
She's not even my type. She doesn't have a penis or a drug problem
look, im sorry that i yelled at your little brother, threw my car keys at him and smashed a stale cookie with a pool cue, but i swear to god i didn't poop on the floor. it was one of your dogs.
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