I was just told by a cop that my party was the most epic party they ever crashed
I'm listening to bach and watching porn,is that a sign of depression?
Quite the contrary. Sophistication.
He made fire alarm noises before throwing up all over the street.
I just got kidnapped by the rugby team for a scavenger hunt. I'm "the girl you had sex with last night"
I vaguely remember walking down the highstreet with a plate of K offering lines to passers buy. I sold a line to a taxi driver.
They left at like 4. I got up to help clean their house this morning and we found his pants. No ones heard from him, we're all a little scared.
you started looking at my couch laughing and saying to it "she thinks I'm talking to you" then proceeded to laugh and talk to the couch some more.
From now on I forbid you to refer to it as a "bed". From now on you must only use the phrase "sex wagon".
This family outing has commenced with me throwing up in an apple orchard
She had a tattoo on her pelvis that said "it's cock-o-clock" an had clocks and hot dogs exploding away from it. I'd like to tell you it was deal breaker buuuuuuut.......
Sorry about the whole your mom seeing my face up your ass situation
I look like i have multiple stab wounds in my foot and there are footprints from the elevator to my room. What happened?
New life goal: fuck in the shopping cart
Science requires me to take a picture of your nipples.
DON NOT, UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES WATCH CLOWN PORN.
Randomize
