Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
dinner at cheesecake factory: $40. drinks at yard house: $50. having sex in the VG parking lot while people are staring at you awkwardly: priceless. Goodnight.
I have taken lazynest to a new level. I took a picture of the notes on the board instead of writing them. I win.
I don't know how I'm boarding the plane tomorrow. I have my car registration.
there are chunks of pepperoni under the sheets. can you be here in 10? breakfast in bed?
my knee is completely bruised from kneesliding into the bowling ball. bowling for creativity points was a win
Last two new years I ended in jail by 12. Can we wait until its actually 12:02 this time to do something stupid. I'd like to spend the first minute of 2012 free.. At least.
I love spring semester, so many high school girls visiting that think I'm the sexiest man alive just because I'm in college
Aren't you gay?
IT'S NICE TO FEEL WANTED DON'T RUIN THIS FOR ME
And then my hands went numb and no one believed me so I started putting peoples cigarettes out on them. Shitty idea i'll tell you that much
I got frustrated so I just stood up and said take me to bed or lose me forever and banged the first guy who responded show me the way home. Thank you Top Gun.
He put those pics of him with those girls on facebook and tagged his wife in them
Tequila 1 marriage 0
I fell asleep completely naked, standing up with my arms and head in the freezer
I successfully navigated a full, lengthy interaction with my dad in which he never asked me if I was freshly baked. 10 points.
Tbh you just need to fuck it out like I don't know another solution
I don't blame you. I made YouTube videos of me singing Rent songs then slept with a married couple. Fucking tequila.
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