Can i come over
After you called me a desperate slut? No
Come over
I CAN MOONWALK!
is it appropriate to call someone “ a tasty piece of bitch?” This is time sensitive.
what did you hear about me?
that you are a very nice girl and a pleasure to be around
that was hard to say and not laugh
He just said he wasn't going to drink on Saturday because he was drinking on Thursday and Friday...we need new friends.
Is it obsessive that I keep picking my crazy sex rug burn scab so it leaves a scar I can remember him by?
Theres dried jager, barbecue sauce and frie remnants all over my front seat.
Not sure how I feel about St Psts and March Madness being on the same weekend. I feel like I've been screwed out of a drunk holiday.
You know what's worse than asking for the morning after pill? Asking for the morning after pill in a sketchy hospital in a foreign country where no one speaks English.
The bald eagles cry cause u drink canadian beer.
PS: I just woke up from my shower
THERE IS A VIDEO OF DMX SINGING RUDOLPH THE RED NOSE REINDEER
I'm officially in the Christmas spirit
How awkward is it to have the guy you used to sleep with congratulate you on your engagement? I'll tell you. Very.
Had a dream I dropped the L word and immediately threatened to kill myself
You probably shouldn't be having nightmares about expressing affection
Just realized I've spent more nights sleeping on bathroom floors the last two weeks than in my own bed. It's time to reevaluate my life.
Randomize
