How many pudding cups do I have to eat for it to count as dinner?
4.
Facials are how you say "I love you" in porn star.
so i woke up this morning covered in mail. none of it is mine.
You were so hammed, you asked your buddy in Economics to plot a demand curve for Parmesan Cheese.
My roommate has every episode of Full House. I'm going to fail my midterm tomorrow.
I just don't get it. Video games don't suck his dick.
you covered his dog in toothpaste. safe to say hes not gonna call you.
I'm also glad were at the point in our friendship where my vagina talking to you isn't weird
I judge a person on how well they respect their vaginas... I can tell by the lack of respect she has for hers I dislike her.
I had fun last year but I was one half of the hoe train back then. At least I'll feel better about myself as a person this year.
I'm going to miss going to the strip club though.
But mostly fuck him senseless. Render him speechless. Have him look at my vagina and wonder, "WHAT SORCERY IS THIS?!"
Happy birthday, you long dick monster
DISHONOR ON YOU. DISHONOR ON YO FAMILY. DISHONOR ON YO COW
Well to me, someone is not really my friend until we go to a mcdonalds drunk at 4am. It's like a right of passage
That's just how I roll. I drink, then tell people I'm either not wearing underwear or I'm training to be a stripper.
Randomize
