You and i never got to the, we dont care what we look like friend-stage. you know? like not brushing your teeth stage.
sorry im really high
i wish that i had sketchier friends so that it would be easier to get drugs
Thanks for ditching me last night. I got a ride home from the Dominos delivery guy. You owe me 3 large pizzas.
my roommate left her license, credit card, and cellphone on her desk. I feel like this is a trap.
You kept saying thank you to the automatic toilet as it flushed your puke.
Woke up with string cheese braided into my hair- literally braided
My adult sexuality and some of the best memories of my childhood collided like a Pee Wee Herman wet dream.
Elaborate
Strip Mario-Kart
A kid in my class today just asked if we have class on the 17th, then announced that he couldn't go anyways because it was the day after his 21 and he was going to be too hungover
Saved a second guy who was crying/on the verge of wigging out. Just call me the drug whisperer.
i think we watched the dark knight rises after you left but i might have passed out through most of it. I remember crying at the end though. sad tears then happy tears.
well that's what you get for sleeping with a guy called 'the defiler'
Fuck these bullshit days. My underwear are still inside out.
i'm at work, alone, drinking a spiced chai & fireball hot toddy. holiday OT isn't that bad after all.
For one week of my life every time I pull my cock out I want the Jurassic Park theme music to start playing.
So apparently I’m into choking now
Randomize
