I thought she was going to get passionate and throw her on the bed and fuck her, but she just started breaking stuff.
That's the thing about women.
i just found out that washing ur bong in the dishwasher works. its been a productive day
I had sex with him, and then he gave me a $5 Starbucks gift card. Totally worth it
so he came over for the first time and i completely forgot i had pictures of him printed out from facebook on my wall and a newspaper article with him in it.. you can guess that it lead for an awkward situation.
Somewhere out there, someone is getting laid. And then theres me, watching Star Trek porn while my roommate plays World of Warcraft next door
Thank you blackberry messenger, for giving me a way to sext faster and more efficiently
Thank god i puked near the cancer center. makes me look like a chemo patient
Dude. The walls are totally staring at me right now. I told you this was a bad idea.
Still in Rome. Hooked up with frat boy from SoCal that's studying abroad. He said he was 1/8 italian. I'll take it.
The guatemalans kept making all these sexual suggestions ... With the corn
i chugged some hot sauce before i gave him head. i think a burning penis is a great way to say fuck you
Ughhh I can't remember the last time "time fell back or springed forward" and I wasn't at the bar to argue about it :(
22 is way too old to still be having "thank god I think I'm getting my period" days
He had Homeward Bound on VHS how was I supposed to not fuck him
I'm kinda glad you won't be in Vegas tomorrow because you'd make us go streaking or throw dead animals at them.
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