My wife all of the sudden got markedly better at giving blow jobs. Should I be happy or concerned?
The mexican place next the the funeral home has dollar margaritas, our grandfather would want us to act on this... trust me i know.
I guess I should mention that I have already fucked the Fed Ex guy.
That changes everything.
we need a dd. For wednesday. At lunch. What are we doing with our lives?
succeeding
He adopted an old drug sniffing dog so that he won't lose his weed around the house anymore. It works.\n
Some guy just bought a handle of cuervo, a curling iron, and a power drill. Paid with a jar of change. I'm torn between avoiding him and befriending him..
My liver is crying. And I feel like I got fingered by Edward Scissorhands. While he was wearing brass knuckles
This is a mass text. First one to reply gets head.
Before anyone claims this, this chick is in my boyfriend's phone as "Worst BJ EVER!"
Does that mean you're calling dibs or can I?
We grabbed as many adult diapers as we could and made a run for it.
Im going to hell I gave him a handjob on the plane next, to an old guy playing video games on his iPad, on good friday.
You had to dry your pants with the hand dryer in the bathroom because you "forgot to take it out."
I can't tell if my roommate is crying or having sex and the fact that there's anime in the background is only making this more confusing
why do guys have to express their feelings when they know your seeing someone else ? I fucked him anyways to make him feel better , and to know what he's missing.
I don't think it's a coincidence that the day I just happen to do the splits at the gym I come back with 7 guys' phone numbers.
You were yelling at them from the passenger seat saying you wanted your chicken for free because they couldn't prove it was from kentucky
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