You should see what I'm doing to your stuffed animals
Just looked at my outgoing calls. Seems I had a 7 minute convo with my 10th grade english teacher at 2:56 am Saturday...
they told me they were banning four lokos so yeah i did have to buy 42 of them
You drunk dialed me and told me to jump out of my second story window so I could give you head. I almost considered it.
DIN'T JUSGE NE.
Remind me tomorrow that I was taking shots of burnetts in the subway line while placing my order
No night ever ends well that starts with "you know what this needs? More tequila".
I'm just gonna wear a long dress with no panties today. My pussy needs a break.
Definitely a Xanax and Jell-O shots kinda day...except my Jell-O shots are really just a big bowl of a Jell-O shot that I use a spoon to eat.
Fuck I forgot the furry convention was this weekend and now I'm downtown. Way too high for this shit.
He was making a joke about signing my name on this piece of paper. He has a whole bucket filled with names on pieces of paper. I think thats how he keeps count.
Last night I went outside to our neighbors and asked them to put in money with me to get a hot tub for our patio. Niceeeee
I have never lost more friends than while playing Uno drunk.
I don't remember what you did, but I DO remember that i'm supposed to hate you for it.
I admit I fucked your best friend, but to be fair, you fucked the tristate area. So there's a good chance about 40% of those people are MY friends.
Randomize