Question for you. Are boobs and hands polarly charged, thus causing the inevitable joining of the two. If so are some breasts simply charged backwards
I feel like I just won at life, no connection sex and free 12 pack of beer after. Does life give out trophies, if so I want a big one.
Omg i either met the gayest dude ever or my next boyfriend
Drunken horseback riding is the absolute worst decision i've ever made in my life.
well let's see. after you forcefully shoved a half-eaten apple in my mouth, you ruined the pepsi by dumping an entire beer in there.
You fought the bouncer and lost, then challenged a hobo to a 40 chugging contest and lost. Sobriety is a good life choice.
I do wanna see you. And we can just lay here and watch a movie and listen to me cry.
He offered me a trade. He'll come sober to my parents 25th anniversary dinner if I let him tie me up for an hour.
Update. bondage is a lot harder than it looks.
Things my liver can't take in one weekend. Surprise nights off at work and male strippers. Woke up jaundiced.
Am I the only one who saw the used condom in the driveway this morning
Ok, now help me add to my topless picture collection, i'm going to make myself a calendar
I'm literally rolling on acid for the first time during Thanksgiving. Help me.
This Asian instant coffee I found in ur kitchen is like crack. Who knew I could feel my heart beating in my asshole after one cup of this happiness.
And a hot pocket after we fucked. Heaven.
I might be getting fired on this week so the only option i see for tonight is to get smashed and have an orgy. actually this idea might explain why i'm not an ideal employee.
Randomize
