I'm not going to blow you while you look at fish on the internet.
we didnt fuck last night. again. seriously, his place is like where dreams go to die.
do you think you could subtly ask him about the dimensions of his penis?
i was way too optimistic last night... got back to my apartment and the porch light was still on, like i'd actually make it all the way home.
I think I dropped my cock ring in your back yard
Crashed the mayor's bday party, no list for some reason. Wore suits. Ludacris was there.
You overflowed the toilet cuz you tried to flush apples. you said they were singing too loudly
started my period, we have to try again next week
if we have anymore sex before that my dick is gonna fall off. that is in no way a complaint
Jesus Christ. If I were a normal sex-having person, I'd think I was knocked up. I'm cycling through emotions like I'm in a decathlon to crazy.
I had a really bad dream about us drinking this weekend. Remind me to tell you Friday when we start drinking
this new dose of ADD meds is totally being waisted with the unemployed new graduate thing if only I could add my hyper focused side effects to a coverletter
I just feel like I'm worth a little bit more than your recycled nudes...
I'm being hhit on by creepy guys please come one bought me a penis hat balloon animal save meeeee
Honestly cannot tell if I’m magical or really, really high.
I need weed and if he's hot, maybe he can supply me with sex too.
Randomize
