I can only name 15 people I've had sex with - can I just start claiming that as my sex number?
dude they were twins that means they were both only 17
he had his head down and said he was listening for the buffalo, he had to still be drunk.
The baby slept soo good last night. Its like he knows the importance of me being intoxicated all weekend.
She looks like a junkie muppet...awful
That girl is nothing but trouble. She's 40% red hair and 60% daddy issues.
FYI, grandma is already drunk and using a bed sheet as a table cloth.
Between the puerto rican elf, the fat marine, the deaf guy and the ex coke head I've got a good preview if the men in this city...
Hahahaha .. If it makes you feel better I had a sex dream about a cheeseburger last night so I feel like we both lose.
There's a rash on my genitals that would like a word with you.
Never in my life have I been so excited to nap as I am right now.
I'm always down for nudity.
I still dont see how i drunkenly impressed your mom
I think its a little fucked up she invited you to her wedding, are you going?
There is a lot of acid in my drugs right now
....ill put you down as a no then
i love discovering the tokens of our drunkenness from the night before. it's like easter egg hunting. today: smashed pizza rolls in the sink.
Randomize
