my mom walked in on my vaccuming.......i wasnt vaccumming
Oh my god. Oh my god. Oh my god. I drunk emailed a professor on friday. Oh my god. Oh my god.
dude she has hot friends.. do you want blonde brunette or red head.. maybe asian?
what is this build-a-bear? .. just gimme one thats breathing
Just had a serious bathroom emergency at walmart a and it appears that i ate a taco bell burrito wrapper last night
If I buy you $300 worth of popeyes, will that make up for me trashing the house?
The sad part is that if I don't get a random pic of your balls or ass or both every month, I start to worry that we're not friends anymore
I have bruises from doing the splits on the poles, if that doesn't scream bourbon street regret then I don't know what does
"Where are you? Where are my keys? What is this guys name again? Why am I wearing two pairs of your pants?"
If fixing it is ignoring it, and getting naked. Then yes we fixed it.
Did I send you a drunk selfie with a pine tree last night?
And here I thought that was one nut sack too many
WELL THEN WHAT DAY IS IT?!?! This whole having to choose between ruining my future and ruining my liver is totally killing my vibe
Do not, I repeat, DO NOT uncuff him no matter how much he begs. He knows what he did.
I remember that. We went to taco bell looking for pizza.
I'll be naked. By 11. Then arrested. Drunk tank adventures
Randomize
