why do married chicks ALWAYS cry after?
Do they make some cleansing product for your soul? Like mouthwash that makes you not a skank? Or is that what religions for?
Eh, i think it's called sobriety. But its not fun.
and she was petting her beer can
Walk-of-shaming home from Brooklyn in a Jesus costume that has "what wouldn't Jesus do" written on the robe.
this is the last time we take the mathletes drinking.
He asked me if the reason I slept around is because I grew up in a broken home. I am so done fucking Christians.
If its possible to have a hickey on your nipple, I have one. Thank you.
The sex may be the only reason I like him. I've confused the multiple orgasms for feelings.
Turns out I screen transfered my streaming trucker restroom porn vid to the downstairs neighbors'TV instead of my own, damn you chromecast
He does impressions. Handy knowing you can get fucked by one guy and pretend a group of celebrities is running a train on you.
Get here now. I need a drinking buddy. I don't care if you're in a different timezone, it'll be five o clock here faster.
I don't blame you. I made YouTube videos of me singing Rent songs then slept with a married couple. Fucking tequila.
no i'm going to the dr today, he fucking banshee-shrieked in my ear as he was coming and now i can't hear out of it
i saved a drunk oompa loompa he was passed out on the lawn and i picked him up figured out where he lived and put him in his bed and wrote his roommate a note
I have been adopted by a clan of drunken skinny dipping tourists.
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