you ran down to the water at 3am and rolled in the sand and ran around screaming that you were the corn dog monster.
Shes in the fridge organizing my beer collection. I love having a girlfriend with OCD
I just puked in my fish tank. Helloooooo summer.
Seriously, I'm ready to settle for ugly and unemployed as long as he has decent hygene and likes to go down.
We should tie ourselves together anytime there is any type of alcohol involved. It's the safest way. I either end up with freshmen or weird ex bfs. You end up with a large cowboy. This is not good for us
Nvm, he just almost drank his drink from last night, his drink that has the condom in it. Kinda answers my question.
Sorry about the whole your mom seeing my face up your ass situation
HOW MANY BOYS NOT ONLY APPROVE OF YOUR PLAN TO BECOME POCAHONTAS, BUT WANT TO MAKE SURE YOU DO IT RIGHT? One, the answer is one, and he is the best and if anyone ever tries to steal him I can assure you they will never be heard from again
It's official. I'm gonna fuck hot art class guy. But this won't be like hot Samsung guy. I'm gonna make sure I follow through this time.
Drunk me has cost me a lot in cell phones...
So there I was, eye fucking the waiter and I spilled beer all down my boobs
a girl walked up to me and asked if you were my brother. she shook her head and said 'im so sorry' when i said yes. what did you fucking do????????
Conversations really do change when your social worker had your dick in her mouth the other night.
she crossed my comfort zone...i thought i was a freak
said the guy with a pink sex swing...
DUDE NEVER CALL THE COPS BACK
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