i'm sick of taking my pants off and seeing a look of disappointment on the girls face. i want her to be frigthened
people should stop making movies, we'll never top bio-dome.
She said she didn't want to have sex because she was so torn up about "this whole NBC thing."
...Then she just started hitting me with a loaf of bread.
we were totes just talking about. huu in the bathbub. 5 girlszzz
Come on, without my personality, I'm a pretty good one night stand.
We jumped on a random trolley because total strangers offered us free vodka. We're not even on the route map as far as I can tell. I see now how those people died in "Hostel"... we deserve whatever happens to us tonight.
Just had a 10 minute long conversation with my cat about how if I died, and he needed to eat me to live, I'd totally be ok with it. Definitely still drunk.
I almost itched my nose with the lit end of a cigarette. Help.
I don't know, Alex. I don't know. I lost my keys, my debit card, my makeup bag, broke my purse, had to have someone cut my shoe off, I have no idea where my costume is. I woke up next to the biggest douchebag I know and made out with this other guy while SIMULTANEOUSLY talking on the phone to the guy I'm talking to...
It was marvelous. I was drunkenly conversing with my professor in some of the best Spanish I've ever spoken.
I've spent hours masturbating before. It's actually my favorite Sunday activity
Look, you're talking to the wrong girl here. Tacos>dick always and forever
Remember how we use to say "this will be the year I'll get my shit together!" And like we stopped doing that because we know that isn't happening anytime soon.
Haha word. Sure I can do that. Help me find which bar has my pants and you'll get free tacos all week
Randomize