She was like a white Oprah, but with less conviction.
even iPhones love lady gaga. everytime I type haha it trys to correct it to gaga. this is bullshit...
I woke up at 2 pm to my roommate checking my pulse.
do you think having her use a clorox disinfecting wipe on her vagina will keep me from getting her herpes if I don't have a condom?
Thank you blackberry messenger, for giving me a way to sext faster and more efficiently
Being home sucks. I haven't drank in like a week. Or smoked cigs. Or done drugs. Or had sex. My body is shutting down.
Omg. It's like you're one of those deprived kids living in a third world country. We need to save you.
Not a clue. But I did find out that his penis has a British accent.
Can't decide if I want to watch full house or the fleet wood Mac concert during the presidential debate.
It was one of the greatest weekends of my life. And that's even after factoring in spraying myself in the face with the bidet.
He may not be fully over his current wife yet. But wait until I show him my tits in his office at the end of the day tonight.
My roommates said duck dynasty was stupid ... toto i don't believe we're in kansas anymore.
She's in it for that fear factor ya'll. Obsession and stalking or nothing.
I wish I could open myself up and check on my liver. Make sure it's hanging on. Ya know?
If you're gonna show up unannounced on hangover day, you better have coffee doughnuts and a boner
Our son just found our secret Sex Dungeon that is no longer hidden in our basement. He brought his Xbox and the TV down there he is currently sitting in the sex swing playing video games. What do I do?
Randomize
