Dont worry, she is sitting right next to me. She is making it clear she wants to scissor
um. i met him on myspace...we text now, he lives down the street
just had to take a 4 hour nap to write a one page paper. its obviously the week after winter break.
she told me that she was curious about how cum tasted. of course i left you.
He insisted on sleeping in my bed. Had he taken all of my obvious hints I would have sucked his dick. He only wanted to snuggle. My world has been turned upside down.
Well I pulled a muscle in my leg dancing in the tanning booth drunk at 1 pm soooo there's that
Like if a baby's bottom had nipples, that's how my boobs feel
You got pulled on stage by a stripper who wore ruffled ankle socks and did jumping jacks for her dance. Then you were put in a chokehold by a security guard that almost cried because you supposedly said "fuck you!" to him.
A nap. You broke your hand napping in Vegas.
I caught myself flirting with clients today. Someone needs to take me to pound town before I self destruct. This is a code red. I repeat code red.
Yeah then you killed that bottle of Bacardi in under 20 minutes. So much for being an organ donor.
Literally the fucking master of salvaging the possibility of a blow job whilst also crushing somebody's dreams.
don't judge but I think I'm gonna go fuck a dad this weekend
I danced shirtless on a platform with a fucking stripper who went to MIT
Yeah I knew you'd like him. He's emotionally and physically self destructive.
We would have so much to talk about!
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