My milkshake brings 85 to 90 percent of the boys to the yard
Everyone just saw your hickey on TV and on the jumbotron at the hockey game.
Thanks dad.
I have a feeling this won't be the last time I wake up wrapped in a shower curtain with the words "Blame Bono" spray painted on it
Do you think he woke up this morning, looked at you, and then regretted everything?
i had to take off my light up shamrock necklaces, my professor was getting suspicious.
I'm going to replace you with a friend who will be happy when I find a huge penis
Give us adventure or give us cock. Or cocktails.
He used the panoramic camera on his iPhone to take a picture of his dick. And it actually filled it. Pretty sure I just came.
I wanna come do a blessing for your apartment. And by that I mean I want to drink a lot of whiskey and watch ancient aliens in your apartment
My CPA just snapchatted me a picture of her playing beer pong at a picnic. Time to do my own taxes?
Figured out why that fly won't leave. It keeps buzzing through my weed smoke
Fly high, Fly.
Leave it to me to sleep w a guy who gets poison ivy on his dick
wtf I can't believe that bar tender told on me to my mom
Would you accept a fantastic blowjob as payment?
On the way home she told me she was in kindergarten when 9/11 happened
Randomize
