I just did the scooter of shame. New levels of embarrassment have now opened.
My number went up to seventeen today. I forgot to add my random hookup on a sailboat.
If you win this game of words with friends, ill suck you off for 30 minutes. No lie.
I cant last that long. Do i get the rollover minutes?
Fucked her within an inch of her life. Seriously. Don't choke bitches when they ask. Was way too drunk to be pulling that shit.
all i wanted to do was something grown up. like go to applebees and drink.
It was almost awkward to look at you naked while listening to Circle of Life. Just saying.
Someone in a vagina costume on campus.
I feel a bullet train of disappointment headed in your direction.
Im the proud new owner of the campus speed bump sign
I think we might have a drinking problem when the ASU kids called us crazy
No one made them take a shot with us at the 12 hour mark. That's their bad
"Don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor..." he chanted helplessly
Visions of polite missionary are dancing in my head right now kinda and it alarms me
"I licked someones beard, because I can."
I get dinner and bf perks from the one guy. But dick with no commitment from the other. I’m living my best life.
I got sriracha sauce on my mask while I was eating fast food, now wearing it makes me hungry
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