If you borrow your friends real doll, should you wear a condom?
this morning my mom told me to get a new vibrator because mine was too loud last night
i fell asleep watchin iron chef that was the blender she heard. i dont even own a vibrator
I looked him in the face and asked if we could stop. he asked why. I said "I can't feel it.". ...I feel bad; I should have faked.
I just almost got out my car and drop kicked this one chick over parking. Welcome to the first day of spring semester.
counting down the days left of school on my birth control packet.
I told him he didn't want "flip-flop extraction" on his medical history.
We're too lazy too send a pic of out balls. Just assume this is a pic of our balls and respond accordingly.
I'm working on finding a bottomless situation. Both pants and mimosas.
You have no idea what this goes for my ego. I literally made you cum in your sleep.
I told the cop to try walking in heels and he'd understand why I was walking home without then on. He told me he only does that on Wednesdays.
Ill go to bed but tamed sharks isnt so much of a bad idea. Not for riding
my cockatiel has aquired a taste for beer. I should not be allowed to own exotic pets.
There are regrets.. and there are RAGRETS
The waxing lady fingered me during my brazilian. 40 dollars well spent
i don't think the phrases "so shitty" & "taking care of my newborn" should be combined in the same sentence. leave it to her to make it possible eh?
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