remember when u banged some random dude twice in the back restaurant room of the bar i work at with customers still there? and woke up with an enormous highschool-sized hickey this morning? no big deal.
This guy told us that for a dollar and two cigarettes he'd let Megan stomp on his crotch. We were gonna refuse, but we figured someone had to keep him from passing his stupid genes along.
We walk out of his house and his dad is there, so I had to meet him and shake his hand pretending that same hand hadn't been down his son's pants five minutes earlier
hey girl hope you're alright, you hit that tree really hard. have a good night.
You made eat vitamins until I threw up
I forget the details, but I'm told that I drunkenly stalked him around floor yelling obscure Jewish laws at him
i wish i just like had a pee bag attached to me and i could just go whenever i want wherever i want
No! Last time I got hit with a beer bottle
Haha, Tuesday man
The only thing I remember from last night is being naked in his bed if that's not summer drinking at it's finest then I don't wanna live anymore
Help everyone's hot
Men are hot women are hot non-binary people are hot aliens are hot
I feel like shit, and I can't get the band aids off my nipples.
I am at a new level of appreciation for drunk-you, who threw up into her own sweatshirt pocket last night in the car. Brava.
You're right. Cause really... I'm in the back of his head. Even though what I said was better than "I have herpes"... I did once say that to him. So I'm like a reoccurring nightmare.
I AM STRANGELY AROUSED BY THIS UNEXPECTED DEVELOPMENT AND I AM COMPLETELY OK WITH THIS.
How much beer/TP for a BJ? Trying to set my new rates.
Randomize
