You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
Did you REALLY have to twitter about our sex last night?
Just took a beer bong out of snuffaluffagus's trunk. Your move
i just walked in on him masterbating..to a picture of me. that definitely has to be true love.
It's like there testing me. My dad kept handing me margaritas and saying "you can take it"
Thanks for talking me down from peeing on his window last night.
I am now curious as to how you would have aimed.
He left an apology note saying he had to work and that there was coffee, OJ and food on the table with two Excedrin. I left his spare key with the door guard and she said "too bad I don't go for skinny white boys or I'd jump you both!" Best one night stand ever.
All hell broke loose. When the police showed up, this kid somehow haggled with a cop to let him pee in public. I'm convinced he could talk the panties off of a nun
I need two food groups: booze and turkey sandwiches
all i remember is slapping you in the face with a slice of pizza while laughing maniacally.
Not sure how but he broke three of his fingers while giving a blowjob. How does someone that accident prone survive to adulthood?
I'm eating pizza in the bathtub
I love it when strippers help me get other strippers numbers.
I CAN'T FALL IN LOVE WITH SOMEONE WHO HAS A LISP. I JUST CAN'T.
Have you ever forgotten how to pee? I did last night. Standing in front of the urinal with dick in hand. WTF were we drinking???
Randomize
