he pissed his pants, and she still wants to hook me up with him. I try not to date guys with bladder control problems... Unless they're loaded anyway.
I wish you wouldn't refer to your breast milk as "ammunition"
if three guys were standing in front of you and they differed only in the hairiness of the groin who would you choose: smooth as a baby's bottom, the grass lands or the amazon jungle?
i think you're getting too neurotic about why she won't touch you.
My cousin just asked what abortion is. Happy Holidays.
He just did blow off my nipples. He's not serious about his girlfriend.
I have a way to get him back. you're going to have to take one for the team and make a visit to the health department. you in?
The to do list extremely baked self wrote for me last night says "1. Join gym 2. Passport? 3. Join a gym" And then just a drawing of a squid
Not sure I just ate a really big pot brownie, I feel like my future is uncertain
I'm just saying. If this how my magic vagina shows it's magic then I don't want any
didn't realize her mom was home while we were fucking, but she's oddly okay with it. she made us food afterwards. but then kept talking about having grand kids the whole time. is it time to bail?
he's a firefighter. like being a firefighter screams MY DICK IS HUGE SO I'M NOT AFRAID TO DIE IN THIS FIRE.
His water bottle is sitting on my coffee table like a monolith dedicated to the things he is not doing to my vagina.
Nothing tops off the night like giving emotional and spiritual guidance to a 70 year old transvestite.
I'm so drunk and angry about the Michigan game the fact of my relationship being over doesn't matter
i'm growling thTa how much i wNn slwwwp.
save me some of whatever you're doing i'll be there in five.
Randomize
