he quoted cool runnings while we were having sex: feel the rythm,feel the rhyme, get on up, its bobsled time
I'm not sure if what i'm hearing downstairs is sex or not, but if it is, it sounds like there's a dog involved...i'm mildly concerned.
She punched my vomit. In midair. Back into my mouth.
Fuckkkk i made out with a freshman.....but he's old for his age. THIS IS WHAT HAPPENS WHEN YOURE NOT AROUND.
I feel like an ass. I'm not blacking out ever again. I want to clean your feet for a year. Just like Jesus did.
I feel like having peed on eachother is a point in our lives we should never have gotten to...
Hypothetical question. Say I was bleeding profusely, close to your house, and needed a place to go to clean up and perform minor surgery on myself. Like now.
He is into some weird shit i walked in his room last night he was waving his hard dick around hitting shit yellin cock fight
Did copperhead road at the bar. All the girl next to me did was stare at my glorious bouncing tits. CAN I FUCKING HELP YOU?? I worked hard for these tits.
Best part of Friday afternoon drinking? Having ping pong balls thrown into my cleavage.
I just ran your car into a ups truck....but on a up note I have a handle of fireball and breakfast burritos
I'm bringing home frosties. I need to talk about butt stuff.
yeah i'm making him "thanks for letting me befriend your toilet" cookies. wanna help? i'm sure you'll be making new friends too.
Vagina status: the swelling is going down.
I would offer you moral support, but I have questionable morals..
Randomize
