i'm out of smokes so i just had an after sex popsicle. this might become an addiction.
a strip club that doesn't allow touching or asking for sex... whats the point?
unless her vagina can tell me my horoscope in sign language, I'm not going.
Reggie can tackle my bush.
yea, their son has been arrested on more than one occassion, their daughter is pregnant and their other daughter graduated but she was adopted, so clearly genes are everything.
Sex on roller skates
Floating mattress
Tie
Try to make ecstasy cheese. Capitalize on the molly and greek yogurt trends. MARKETING
She broke up with me after I spent the whole day speaking in nothing but Marshawn Lynch quotes.
My vagina feels like a chupacabra ripped me apart using its mythological set of needle pointed teeth
she's throwing knives it scares me
update: broke ceiling. glass everywhere
why is there a shopping cart in my back seat? and a dick drawn on the side of my car?
So today was the first day i've been sober since Wednesday according to my roommate!
He passed out in my car.
What's the problem?
HE'S STILL IN MY FUCKING CAR.
The beauty of his penis is distracting me from the fact that he was born after Princess Diana died
Finding my pants in the morning should not make me this proud
Well it was okay until he pinned my arms over my head and I found the loaded pistol tucked behind the bed... THIS IS WHY WE DON'T FUCK BOYS IN MONTANA ANYMORE
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