Did yall have sex?
Well we both woke up naked and there was a condom wrapper on the floor, but I don't remember so does that count?
Def not... that's how I managed to keep my number under 10 for all of college- If you don't remember, it didn't happen
I mean, it really isn't YOUR car until you have sex in it.
You told the bartender you needed 2 beers, and a shot of his cum...
My sister got her picture in the pub crawl section of the paper today and my dad said to me "why can't you be more like her?"
We started snorting MDMA at 3 in the afternoon...it was never going to end well.
DRUNK CANOEING
Please text me if you survive.
LAND HO BITCH
Everything tastes like Lysol. Am I dying?
Zach is always passed out on the floor somewhere.face down in a puddle of his own absurdity
We tried lying really still and being really quiet so that he wouldn't notice us before he left the room. Forgot about the glow in the dark condom.
I drank a girls breast milk at this wedding. Shit was next level
I had a glass of wine for breakfast. It's gonna be a rough week.
I feel like ditching all logic and responsibility and get shit-faced before the week's over. Thoughts?
Haha idk you were stealing pizza dough at dominos
At one point of the night i was standing at the bar and 3 of them had their hands down my pants, they were like thumb wrestling for it.
Thanks for going with me today. It’s been a long time since I bought bra and panties because of a guy
It’s called “shopping for lingerie” and it’s one of the many exciting and sexy things that follow a divorce, along with sexting, sleepovers, and orgasms
But, our next lesson is picking up a younger guys at the bar!
Randomize
