i think of them as a grilled chicken salad and a fried chicken biscuit. obviously Amy is better for me, but when i'm eating her all i can think about is how much better the blonde must taste.
Just saw the stripper pole on the road that we threw out of the party bus last night
It's official, the cities waste management does not recycle porn.
we shared soup. that is literally the extent of my romantic life right now
You made out with two different species that night
He was twisted. Literally. It's like God took his dick with a pair of pliers and gave it a half twist to the left.
I think that's the first time Navy dress blues and a Ninja Turtles onesie have been involved in the same makeout.
So much for doing Irish car bombs in my grandpa's memory.... Asshole.
Tuesday Boozeday turned into What-the-fuck-were-you-thinking Wednesday real fast.
Let's be honest I'm gonna watch murder she wrote and eat taquitos at three am
Who knew I could feel anymore shameful at the bar than i usually do...I think my bartender recognizes me from the walk of shame out of his house after i hooked up with his son yesterday
we talked about the guy being eaten by the anaconda.. Then I proceeded to blow him
pretty sure I woke up to him jacking himself off IN MY BED
Ate 3 ghost peppers and chased them with Everclear last night. Currently on the toilet cursing the universe and everyone in it.
Just got recognized as black out drunk girl. I'm never going to live that down, am I?
Randomize
