i just picked a peanut m&m up off the floor. with my toes. and then proceeded to eat it.
you just stared at your feet and said some shit about the molecules dancing and how you had just solved physics.
finally achieved: got laid in the religion section of borders. thought you should know.
I feel like hell. The amount of black beans I found in my hair tells me I hit rock bottom
I know. She seems like she getting that "need some dick" restlessness. Might explain the feisty attitude
Petty good. I just stapled a 5 dollar bill onto the chest of a sword swallower.
This is your typical drubkba Amy test. Shout out to jisus for auto correct
He brought wine and beer. I'll put my pants on for wine and beer.
I almost itched my nose with the lit end of a cigarette. Help.
Just so you know, a 6'7" tall gay man, with a martini in one hand and a fairy wand in the other, is not a force to be reckoned with...don't ask.
I tried to find the bar, ended up at a car dealership. Then the alarms went off.
Did I run into a tree or get punched in the face?
Both.
I never thought I'd have to apologize for tasting like absinthe and cheetos before tonight
Remember when I got punched in the face on NYE last year? I don't
Are you the reason I woke up without pants?
Randomize