That was a long time ago. She needed the money.
ice luge is my downfall...
...u mean upfall.
How is it I was the last to know everyone calls me tig ole bitties? Did y'all have a meeting about this that I wasn't invited to?
I want him to be the Hulk to my Brooke Hogan this Halloween. Can I ask him to be my daddy this weekend?
Only if you say it like that.
he said verbatim, he wants to "bang you hard".
I'm hungry
Come here to eat and play. It'll be like Dave and Busters except with sex
Apparently from about 3-5AM I was consoling that crying stripper about her life choices.
Look, I'm just saying, she looks like a troll and works indefinitely at a shitty Chinese restaurant, so me sleeping with her boyfriend is the least of her troubles...
I opened a bud lite with a fencing sword last night. Yeah you banged that guy.
Some crack addled fool from the sketch ass motel behind the restaurant just gave me a flyer for an AA group when I was on my smoke break. I don't do mornings
Dude at the bar last night came into the bathroom, drop kicked the stall open and start saying lines from happy Gilmore as he was shitting, "go in your home! Are you too good for your home?!"
He interrupted me giving him head to ask if I were hungry, because he wanted to eat pizza. Wtf.
It's a classy one I promise! Their toilets are cushioned an tier wifi is named hummingbird
If you wanna do actual business call my office. If you’re just looking to get laid you need to up your game
i just wanted have a romantic star gaze moment with him. untill he let out a massive fart.
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