Haha na a cat just ran under your car. Howd that happen?
Probably a woman cat. Doesnt think things through
What I dont get about To Catch a Predator is who the fuck still uses chat rooms?
We just picked up about 540 lbs of women....
she was drooling, sharted in her sleep, rolled over stuck her hand under the covers pulled it back out, smelled it and moaned and rolled back over. i almost added puke to the disgusting bodily fluid category.
Dude I just heard my boss singing from the bathroom "I love making poop"
Your noise violation report contains the word "five-some"...wtf happened in here?
I gave up yolo and cigarettes for lent. I owe god a sincere apology.
He told me he wants to eat me out all day while I lay in bed watching football. Seems like a solid foundation for a relationship to me.
I can't thank you enough for the well-timed blowjob. What a huge improvement in my outlook on the day.
I'm about to be a GTA V widow, he could at least throw me a bone. Literally.
Why am I sticky / covered in baby Tylonel?
WHAT IS HAPPENING
A FLOCK OF DICKS IS MIGRATING TOWARDS US.
"Yeah because the first thing I think of when I hear the word college is tear gas."
I am harder than a fucking diamond and Michael Bolton is playing. Your move.
Why do I feel so obligated to masterbate just because I’m single and it’s valentines Day...
Randomize