I think we should urban dictionary "drive of shame." It involves a sprint to your car in his underwear and shirt, surreptitiously trying to put on your bra on at stoplights without attracting attention from neighboring cars, and lurking in your car a block from home so you can know when your roommate leaves for work.
But you know it's love when you find brass knuckles in the same box he keeps his Naruto action figures.
just spent about 3 1/2 hours looking for a dollar so I can buy weed.
suggestion: become a stripper.
Just tried to fight the dj at cowboys because he would'nt play freebird. Pick me up now.
my life has come down to walking through campus and wondering if every guy is the random i made out with saturday
If for any reason you were wondering if i was going to vomit at the airport today, the answer is yes.
czant get you from the arport. sry i found the rum. dan sucks at rumpong jusrt so yo knoqw.
Please tell me your aunt didn't see the Brita pitcher full of condom wrappers. We had at least 100.
He came home all fucked up crying slammed his bedroom door and all we could hear for about three hours was THIS ISN'T GONA RUIN MYLIFe what happend
I told him I got this chick pregnant and he has to get a new wingman
I don't want to be with anyone who doesn't accept me for who I am. eating cheeseburgers in bed is my favorite activity.
Your list of "good ideas" thumbtacked to the lampshade last night consisted of nothing but "tampon-pen" with a note indicating that girls could then always have something to write with, even naked.
Definitely worth waiting her kid to got to sleep when the first thing you hear once she's back is "I want you in my ass right now"
Dude, I brought the fucking tequila to that party and they cheered for the chick that seriously only brought limes.
I'm gonna buy my dress an hour before wedding. You know, just to make sure it's gonna really happen.
T'would be a shame to waste that open bar though. They shouldn't do that to us. We've been having to pretend we're happy for two people who got engaged a week after they met.
I know I swore I wouldn't go home with him, but he whispered that he had taquitos and you know how much drunk me loves taquitos.
Randomize
