thank you for a lively/lovely evening :)
should have blown me.
I though she ruined it by crying, then I realized it wasn’t a tear, it was my great aim. It turned out to be beautiful.
My professor is talking about sperm and all I can think about is my mouth
She begged me for sex again. I felt like I was telling a homeless person I didn't have any change.
No. I remember how loud you used to get. Trust me.
I really hope that wasn't actually his first time. Because if my first time was anything like that I would NEVER have sex again.
Just found a hole in my wall with your left shoe in it.
Well now that I've given all the athletes mono there goes our chance of winning any conference championship
YOU RECOMMENDED ME TO THIS GIRL BECAUSE SHES A STRIPPER AND YOU KNOW MY WEAKNESS FOR STRIPPERS WITH CHILDREN.
The leasing office is hiring, so I gave them my resume and class schedule. I doubt they'll call me considering last summer at their "exotic animal" pool party I marched in with a funnel and demanded the employees chug. I doubt they've forgotten.
Like sorry you chose to have an attractive girlfriend dude
I can't believe you won 5 grand from the casio last night and spent more than 80% on tacobell and strippers already
Doing blow in the bathroom isnt the same without you
Do a rail off the baby station in my honor
Talked to the dude for a hour . I now know where he lives, his occupation, his goals, his dreams and what his dick looks like.
I’m so poor I’m filling a flask with vodka and bringing it to the bar.
Randomize
