He like poked it twice with the tip of his tongue then left it alone. I'm sad.
Who was more unwelcome: The two of us at the party last night, or Kimmy Gibler at the Tanner residence?
I didn't realize he wasn't circumcised... it looked like the Unibomber...
It was so delicious I was introducing it to people. Guy from my psych class was like "This is my girlfriend, Erica," and I was like, "This is my milkshake, Oreo."
i've decided to use this saturday afternoon to take care of my pube situation
It's ok, I may have just peed outside your car and used your whataburger napkins. Hope you weren't saving them for a special occasion.
fuck it. im taking monday off to do some Jagering.
I am playing a little game I like to call "How Quickly Can I Infuse This Vodka Into My Bloodstream Without the Use of an IV"
After he came, I wiped my mouth on my baby blanket. I could feel nana rolling over in her grave.
he was having a black light party and drinking manischewitz wine out of a three foot tall trophy he stole from mcdonald's...that's when I decided it was time to leave
I decided it might be a good time to stop when he requested I "bring that pussy over here"
I hooked up with a guy dressed up as morning wood. Needless to say he lived up to his costume.
Just come home. We will have sex and Taco Bell. I'm feeling wild, I put on temporary tattoos.
And somehow i feel like your expectations will turn out to be illegal in some way.
We need to move to a different bar soon. When we're standing on the patio, and every guy around us has seen us naked...there's a problem
Randomize
