Even if you were sober, spitters are STILL quitters, end of story.
I just realized that I'm gonna have to lower my standards if I want random head.
it took you forty minutes to realize it was a gay bar.
We thought she was passed out on the toilet, but she raised her head to tell me the word I couldn't remember was "empathize." Then she puked blood and passed out.
After we were finished she said "That was like marriage sex". Should I take that as a compliment or insult?
New favorite drinking game: bobbing for jello shots. Where did these freshmen come from and when can we go there?
No, man, we stole the housekeeper's key and we're just going room to room raiding mini fridges. Hurry
Logan has the vodka and snickers. We're making a run for it. Room 302
We need to get you laid. Or i fear you might explode like a firework of sexual innuendos and unfulfilled erotic fantasies.
mom is telling me the setting in which I was conceived
did you know we used to have a pool?
You could sing the national anthem right before we have sex. Make it feel like a sporting event
I'm glad he doesn't have a bigger dick because he'd just use it for evil anyway
That cat I follow on Facebook beat cancer so we're drinking tonight in celebration
That's the second time the same cop pulled me over well a different girl was giving me road head
The day will come again young grasshopper. For now you must complete your training of patience and tongue biting
I have all the porn. Be there soon
Who is this?
Randomize
