he started yelling "this is my pussy" mid thrust
he asked me what things i liked that he did in bed, and i told him all the things i hated so he would use it on that new bitch and she wouldnt hook up with him anymore.
you for real need to get over him dude
I had to drink a couple beers this morning so I could attend the keg race. Hangover had to dissipate or it wasn't happening.
So Monday we're lesbians.
Deal. This decision is final and any rebates on this will result in losing an eyeball.
This storm betta not fuck with taco tuesday
i did nothiing wrong other than not tell that kid his whole back was covered in puke
I'm instituting a new rule. If you wake me up at 3am about wrinkled blankets, I get to throat punch you
I woke up without my clothes on covered up with a towel on the floor because for some reason I took a bath in my clothes at 2am.
I'm straight up riding in the back of my truck in a bean bag chair right now. Feet propped up and four loko in hand. Glorious.
Hooked up with a guy dressed as Miss Frizzle last night... Asked if I could ride his Magic School Bus
His brother just asked him in all seriousness if it would be cool if they became eskimo brother brothers.
You had me on my knees catching cheese balls in my mouth and moaning. In front of all your friends.
we had a full conversation and he only brought up drugs twice. overall I'd call it a success
I think I recall josh coming in to the room to tuck us in and give us a few condoms and I threw them back all furious and told him 'we don't use those.' Oh god
I don't know if it was the movie or the drugs but after i watched it i wore the same spongebob shirt to school for two weeks and stopped showering
Randomize
