Considering last night's endeavors, I am going to hell 5 times over. 1 for puking on a hobo, 1 for laughing about it, and 3 for remembering it today and laughing about it sober
hows the new call of duty?
I only had sex with the game case so far, but that part was awesome.
tonight lets celebrate not being married
she just convinced the cop to buy us ice-cream sandwiches. best/worst stoned experience ever.
I just did the math. 30.36% of girls I've slept with have cheated on a significant other while doing it.
I can't tell you details but at one point I had her pee strapped to my back in a ziploc
the repo guy said it was the first time he'd ever started to repo a car with someone fucking inside of it. he might have said 'doing it' instead.
Tequila me may have very bluntly told him that I wanted to touch his abs.
this lady just pulled corn on the cob out of her purse
People like that make this world a better place.
I still regret not being there for your blackout into the dumpster last year
Look,the guy had sex w/a Canadian prison guard on the deck of a cruise ship,he could blow any second.
I came home with 30lbs of BBQ last night. I can't pick up women in a bar but I sure can pick up leftovers from a corporate party.
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
just saw the most amazing side boob. i wanted to hold it.
So I sniffed too hard this morning before work and I THINK THE COCAINE JUST STARTED ROUND 2.
Randomize
