so i just googled the prescription for aldara i saw on your desk this morning...
i have it on good authority that she is not as good at giving head as she claims she is
There's trophy wives that arent even in the 5th grade yet
my life is in even more shambles than last time, mcdonalds is closed
The difference between what I would do for a regular Klondike bar and an Oreo flavored Klondike bar is astounding
I can't tell if I miss summer or 5 times a day sex more.
This theraflu would make for a great margarita.
I can make a sudafedarita
We fucked to the rythmn of the thunder, it was magical
i could have been the DD. this is ridiculous. i'm the most sober and getting the least ass.
I think I should start a match.com profile and put "robe lounging" as my only hobby
I woke up wearing a headband made of condoms. It was supposed to be a crown for the "prettiest fag hag" award I won last night. There is lube in my hair. I'm going back to sleep
I just matched with a taco on tinder. Dreams come true.
Sarah was butt-chugging wine and diarrhea'd all over the wall
I almost had a threesome in a giant beanbag chair. I love college.
Just to clear things up, yes you did lick the strippers butt
Randomize
