He kept singing "who's that peekin in my window" we thought he was high til we realized someone was lookin in the windows.
I just dont think you can meet a stranger after youve heard them cum through the walls though
I woke up covered in blue paint and my knee bleeding, when I went to return the shopping cart the guy in the elevator laughed hysterically. I'm having a good morning.
I woke up exactly where I passed out... on top of him yet he somehow put his pants back on
And I'm ok with his balls touching my ass
I broke the girls bed. I will not apologize about bragging.
No, seriously, I've slept with 3 guys this month.
It's ok, February is a short month
i'm not saying you're gay. i'm just saying all my gay friends think you have a great ass.
I just gave my mom some ones that look like they've probably been in some strippers cooter. Oops.
Haha. Just tell your mom not to smell them
Hey mom, most of this money I'm giving you is in ones. Don't ask why and whatever you do don't smell them.
Sounds legit to me.
I would say "man cannot subsist on sexting and brownies alone" but I think it's actually possible.
Don't be surprised if I hand out mini dildos on Halloween
holy shit I just remembered that story I told about Tom hanks going bowling while high.
When Dad gets to your house, ask him about the sound of anal beads. Happy Thanksgiving!
I did not pay that kind of money so that It could be hidden. that bra needs to shine in glory so that it can be seen by the world.
We got stoned and watched Disney movies all night. I think I'm in love.
Randomize
