my goal is to masturbate without thinking about my exbf.
So i was told that i peed in the sink, had sex with a pillow and banged on a washer while singing idian chants
It's sad that my net worth at the moment is 4 beers
He will. He has no choice. What's he gonna do? Find a better fuck buddy? We both know that's not possible. I'm the ideal friend with benefit. Minus snoring and uneven tits.
That's like being smoked out by a unicorn. If the opportunity presents itself you fucking do it and don't ask questions.
I wasn't vocally whispering "she wants to bite your dick off" about that kirsten girl was I?
No, absolutely not. If you see that cunt, throw confetti or eggs at her.
That's a pretty extreme jump from confetti to eggs
I don't think she can come out, she went too hard in the Intro to Theater Drinking Game at 2:30
Just found weed in my belly button. Happy Saturday!
Ive only just recently decided that NOT fucking you would be best for both of us.
ROB LOWE. SO BEAUTIFUL. SO DOUCHEY. SO HARD TO SPELL HIS NAME WHEN DRUNK.
He showed up to a booty call with 2 tea bags, but no condom...
That sounds worse than that time you thought out an entire story of how big bird would kill you
I peed outside 4 times after the bar, safe to say I had great night
And somehow i feel like your expectations will turn out to be illegal in some way.
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