i'm sick of taking my pants off and seeing a look of disappointment on the girls face. i want her to be frigthened
I drank 13 shots. Which is unlucky. Which is why i threw up.
you threw up because you drank 13 SHOTS
Ordered weed last night from the delivery service, and who showed up...my old real estate broker. He said, "this is less stressful." Duh.
Hey, you guys have all had chicken pox, right?
Chances are I'll be there for your wedding. Camelbaks filled with jack and coke are appropriate attire, right?
Called Jeff last night and told him I wanted to have sex in the airport terminal. Blackout Brooke definitely came out last night.
i shit in a pringles can and hid it somewhere in your house....happy hunting
ripping the fire alarm off the wall probably seemed like a better idea last night than it really was.
I generally just try to vote by which candidate I think has the bigger dick. Sorry Romney.
You're the horniest male I have ever encountered
Makes it sound like you're a scientist documenting your discoveries. I warned you.
Was the guy in the cowboy hat kinda hot or have I just not had sex in a really long time?
Okay first of all, that is a sick ass nickname please call me that forever. Second, i need your help.
I wish I may, I wish I might, get some daddy dick tonight
this kid sitting diagonally in front of me is searching "cheap bongs" on google. hahahhaaha. who does this kid think he is?
She’s the kind of asshole whose face I want to put on a T-shirt just so I can go outside and burn it.
Randomize
