Is that you in the white hat?
Fine suit yourself
I saw her while sober, and she is definately cut off from the penis ride
I feel like I am becoming dumber sitting here in class than I would be sitting on the couch smoking weed.
I dont care how high you are, meat and sprinkles dont mix dude
Drinking wine out of an empty soup can and watching spongebob squarepants.. I eveb hate myself
Blew a line and having a jolly rancher... the day is looking up.
I just passed a truck with its bed lined with a tarp and filled with water with six dudes chilling in the back driving through campus. That looks fun.
it's taken me 3 hours to eat this pudding cup. I think I am melting.
She kept asking for cigarettes, than just put them in her purse as "savings"
i dont know whats worse..that i woke up in a gorilla suit or that its covered in peanut butter
You sent 2 glasses of water to the table next us and told to the waitress they were on you. I repeat: water
We had sex and then stood naked in his living room eating zucchini bread.
I wish I could open myself up and check on my liver. Make sure it's hanging on. Ya know?
Dear sober self, your keys are on the table in front of you the only way your typing this is with autocorrect goodnight love you
Then you got drunk and shit in her car. Nothing before that matters. She isn’t calling you back.
Randomize
