i wouldnt be suprised if in indian your name meant "walking lie"
He looks like a mix between a retired piano teacher and a cat that just swallowed a sock.
Strippers tramp stamp says "mom"
Pretty sure I went to the bar in my bathing suit, sweat pants, and high heels.
First of all...stop making excuses. Second of all...Fuck the surgeon generals warning
Can we put your name for the shipping address for penis ice luge?
They left at like 4. I got up to help clean their house this morning and we found his pants. No ones heard from him, we're all a little scared.
You grinded and hooked up with a middle aged tiger woods look-a-like with manboobs. Tequila isn't for you.
He asked me if the reason I slept around is because I grew up in a broken home. I am so done fucking Christians.
BURNT NIPPLES ARE UNHAPPY NIPPLES.
There was a huge crash. I came out of my room to find you sprawled out at the bottom of the stairs in your bra and panties. You looked at me, yelled 'WHAT AM I DOING WITH MY LIFE' and then ran back into his room.
Lesbians had sex in my bed last night. It's a thing of pride
I walked into the living room this morning and he was there with 3 shots in a row. He said it was "tea time."
was his pinky out?
I woke up with a dread of barbecue sauce in my hair. Drunk munchies makes me a disgusting person.
Why did the sexual harassment class show a clip from frozen?
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