dont get me wrong, i like when a guy is into my boobs but when he started saying mama i want milk let me suck, i gathered my shit together and bounced.
You guys need to stop introducing me as "the girl you shared"
she made out with a stripper. how was scrabble night with your girlfriend
I really can't get over how proud I am of all us getting laid at the same time in the same apartment
He's like my sex unicorn. Elusive and majestic. I'll catch him, I'm baiting with patron.
You've been drinking wine and eating bacon all afternoon. HOW IS THAT DOING GOOD?!?!
For the record, just because I'm a mess doesn't mean I don't know what I'm talking about when I give you advice. I'm way better at other people's lives.
Yeah when I texted her last night the only response I got was "stoned eating cobbler."
Masturbating during the Olympics and cumming during the national anthem really is everything it's cracked up to be. Just thought you should know.
So we were in bed when his brother walks in, walks over to me, fist bumps me and says he just wanted to say hi, then leaves...so random lmao
You would think a husband, a boyfriend, and a vibrator would be enough. But sadly it's not
So I'm just casually at the grocery store when I remember that there's still a clove of garlic in my vagina
I showed him my machete and then we made out in the kitchen
Somebody broke the sliding door, and someone ripped the toilet seat off the toilet. So yeah, pretty typical friday night
We made a blanket fort in my dorm room and fucked in it. Twice. I'm in love.
Randomize
