Wow so 15 missed calls, a vm AND a text saying come downstairs? ...And where is downstairs? Explain.
is not sure whether or not everyone at the club last night calling me a-easy is a good thing?
It's sad that he has such a beautiful cock and doesn't know what to do with it.
thank god dogs can't talk. they see way to much.
I should have but it might be too early in this fuckbuddyship to emasculate him
Drunk me forgot I'm not an 18yr old raver anymore. Adult me is now in pain.
you know what would be perfect? if you flew in on a horse/cat holding taco bell and then you swooped me up and took me to disney world and it was magical
Dude. Get me out of here. I'm surrounded by glitter-faced 40 year olds in halter tops. The desperation here is so thick you can taste it.
His name is Dustib. Not a typo. I just can't.
This will always be remembered as the Christmas I had 15 Russians sing christmas carols to me at 130am alone in a gas station while I was stoned on pot brownies
I'm sorry for aggressively singing the Frasier theme song at you so many times last night.
Idk what was more embarassing, seeing her face when I finished, or seeing her roomates faces thru the door..
Also topless tea is a thing that happens in our apartment. Ready yourself.
im going to smoke a cigarette and reflect on my life choices
Sexual side note: sushi and cum do not mix well. That is all.
Randomize
