just to let you know I saw you texting some Kim chick, and facebook saying she's ugly... good job you're gay now
well i did feel guilty about it. until i saw how hot the guy was the next day. now, nothing but pride.
I'm praying to Jesus, Allah, Buddah,and the whole gang tonight that I'm not pregnant
I just spiked the applesauce. Try to tell me again your party is better.
Would it be a dick move to report the suite next-door for a noise violation? They're singing Bad Romance off-key and I'm not sure if I can allow that.
I found out that my first kiss was an Italian. Even in kindergarden i knew size mattered.
That's cool. At least the punch line of my story isn't I shit in a booth at Denny's.
I'll be gone when you wake up but you hit a girl so I knocked you out. Never hit a girl. Unless it's with your penis.
It's like someone is grabbing my scrodum with pliers and just hanging there.
get ready to load up the weird cannon and blow a load of buck-wildness all over the place people
Look. I've got things to do today.. Will you hurry up and come over so I can give you some head and get my day started already
Outside
cops woke me up on the sidewalk and asked where my shoes are.. fuck if i know, im sleeping on the sidewalk! actually i didnt say that, i just cried until they gave me a ride home.
It is unclear if my flaming esophagus is hangover induced.
i agree, on both the sex thing and the unrepentant bastard thing
Grabbed the cop's ass and he still arrested Heather instead. Victory is mine!!
Randomize
