hey is it cool if i invite some fat girls to the party so i can be the skinny one?
yeah okay. but if i take one home with me you have to come over in the morning and tell her to get her shit and go.
Literally he has the smallest penis I've ever felt since 8th grade.
He bought me flowers. The card with it said: Sorry I cant get you off. I will try harder.
she's telling me all about the love triangles of her sims. you tell me how it's going.
He tried to say "god bless your heart" to the stripper but it came out "god bless your pussy"
If you start sounding at all like you're even remotely in love, expect a lecture on the merits of being a single woman with a vibrator.
This is why we're friends.
Just met another girl you fucked but this time in seattle. Your cock gets almost as much mileage as jet blue. Anaheim and seattle both say hi, figured you don't remember their names.
Listen to me plotting my whoredom.
I'll reiterate. Best drinking game ever. I shall teach it to my children's children
Hey, you gotta think, is this REALLY the penis you wanna see for the rest of your life? THINK!
He actually has his life put together though, during the date we walked by a shoppers drugmart where my friend and I once flashed a janitor and all I could wonder was how does he not see shit show written all over me?
I'm 25 and I shit my bed last night. And I'm telling you about it. Not sure which is worse
Then that means he's outwardly conservative. Inwardly he's a total gay horndog. He's like a spy that can ruin conservative plans.
I want to change all my life goals to that.
You hit a new plane of existence as we all watched in awe
Crawl out into the sunshine and off your vibrator for 7 minutes
Randomize
